It's been a while since I've written. At first it was helping me, then a different stage of grief came along and I didn't feel like it. But today, being five months, I feel like I need to again, for Owen. My friend Jena was able to go see Owen at the funeral home. She made a box for us. I did not get it until yesterday. I was finally ready for it. It has pictures, foot prints and hand prints. It also contains my favorite part, a lock of his precious, golden hair. He never had a haircut so we didn't have anything like that. I obviously cried my eyes out because that was him. That was a tangible piece of him. Yes I have clothes, pictures, toys, etc. But looking at those things, he's only a memory. With what was in the box, I feel like he's back here with us. So thank you, Jena. You have no idea how much we will treasure that box. God placed you in my life in the 4th grade. I always knew you were special but never dreamed you would be able to provide something as important as this!
I'm starting to have more memories run through my head. I can still hear his little hand digging into his snack cup. He loved to eat! And he would make the funniest noises. He would make a popping sound with his mouth which was so stinking cute. Looking back now, Craig and I call them "angel noises." He loved to pull everything out of our cabinets. I know lots of babies do that. Some nights when I was cooking, I would pull things out like a whisk or bowls and containers. Who needs toys, right? He loved his crib and loved the little blue dog he slept with every night. His Nannie, (Craig's mom) gave him that. And he loved his big brother. The day before he passed, we were playing chase around the house. Zach, Owen and I would run as fast as we could back and forth and we would always have to say, "watch out for Owen!" He was slower than us and we didn't want to knock him over. That is one of the last memories I have of him. I can see him with the biggest smile as I was running by him, he loved it!
My devotion this morning is titled "Lead me, Lord." How appropriate for today. I'm relying on Him more than I ever realized I would need to. A verse I came across was also perfect for today. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13. With the help of God we can make it through. Sweet baby Owen is ALWAYS with us, forever in our hearts and always on our mind.
